SpongeBob: No! We're gonna put poor old Squidward to rest.Now he haunts the seven seas because he was never put to rest. It says when he died they used his body as a window display. Patrick: Oh, coming! How are we going to clean up all this mess?.SpongeBob: Patrick, are you ready for this?.Patrick: Yes, your ghostliness! This is fun.As punishment for this insolence, Squidward's ghost commandeth you to clean out his back room. What's this? Napping on the job? You're supposed to be making music for me. Squidward: Well, I hope you don't have any plans tonight, 'cause you're not allowed to leave that spot till I hear a song.Always having to have it our way, don't we? Oh, boo-hoo. SpongeBob: But this is just a piece of tissue paper.Now, play me an elaborate song with this! Squidward: I think I'm beginning to like this.Squidward: Well, go find it again! SpongeBob, get over here.SpongeBob: Whatever you want, we'll find it.Patrick : What do you hunger for, master?.Squidward: Enough of that! I want something else to eat now.fresh from the manure fields, your spookiness. SpongeBob: A banana peeled to your liking, your incorporealness.SpongeBob: A grape fresh from the vine, your ghostliness.SpongeBob: Only the freshest, o spooky one.Patrick: I think they make a cream for that now.Squidward: Quiet! Now, do as you're told, lest ye incur the wrath of Squidward!.All ye must do is tend to my every whim, and tickle my fancy on demand. He hath decided to spare ye a horrible fate. Squidward: Enough! Listen up! Squidward's ghost is feeling unusually generous today.SpongeBob: (as Patrick cries) We'll do anything you want! Just have mercy on us!.Squidward's ghost! Please don't haunt us! Patrick: (as SpongeBob cries) Oh, yes, Mr.Squidward's ghost! Spare us your ghostly anger! Squidward: What are you two talking about? Look what you've done to me! When I get my hands on you, I'll.Squidward: What is the matter with you two?.Squidward: What are you doing here?! Well? Are you two trying to say something, or do I have to.?.SpongeBob: I don't know how to say it, but our old pal Squidward, he's.SpongeBob: No, no, that part goes here.The Patrick is here and SpongeBob I know a lot about head injuries,. Patrick: You know, you worry too much.Patrick: Well, let's go put him in the warm.Patrick: What are you worried about? He looks better already.SpongeBob: Uhh, Patrick? I think something's wrong with Squidward.SpongeBob and Patrick: I got it! I got it!.SpongeBob: I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! Remember, Patrick, finders keepers.Patrick: We could toss that shell back and forth.Squidward: Time to find some other game to play! Ahh!.Squidward: Hey, Patrick, do you know what time it is?.Squidward: Hey! What are you invertebrates doing?.SpongeBob: But it's not Tuesday, Patrick.Patrick: G-7? King me! King me! I lose!.SpongeBob: Hike, Patrick, hike! You just lost three points.And now that I've been immortalized in wax, I have conquered all artistic media. Squidward: Have I told you how beautiful you are? Your tentacles, your nose, your eyes.a little lopsided.This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode " Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost" from season 1, which aired on October 2, 1999. " The Chaperone" List of episode transcripts
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